I want to post about the joys of Family Therapy that I experienced today... But, we'll see. The other thing to comment on today.... I was waiting in the lobby for previously mentioned therapy when one of the Directors walked through and saw me.
"Are you still doing well?"
"K. I'm going to talk with a couple of people, but I think I am going to officially put you on the Alumni Recovery Speakers list. If that's okay"
I suppose that my one word answers to her suggestion this time are better than me literally laughing at her the last time. But I can't help but to have those moments of doubt. Thinking there is NO way that they would actually want me to speak... Thinking that would clearly be a mistake.
I was such a pain in the ass patient. I've been the definition of defiant, treatment resistant, whiny, spiteful and just downright not caring about where I ended up. All on their watch.
But I actually think that she is serious.
And I'm kind of in shock.
I fear that people would feel like I haven't been out of treatment long enough to be speaking on behalf of women in recovery. That I'm a fake or a fraud.
That what I had to say was stupid, or void of anything meaningful.
That I was just another obnoxious person trying to tell them, 'You can do it!' without really having a clue what recovery is like (as I have sat in on those Speakers and felt this way)