Saturday, June 4, 2011

Tell One Tell All

Hey Y'all.. I have definately missed being able to come on and blog... It's funny that when you don't have access to the internet and blogger, how much I want to blog; and when I have all kinds of time and availiablilty to do so... I don't.
So...

I'm back in treatment. I've been MIA since May 4th. I don't really know why I feel like I can share this with everyone... but I fell like all these years that I have spent fighting this addiciton, trying to keep it silent... hasn't worked. So, it's about time that I got honest. My eating disorder and trauma has once again taken hold over my life and I felt like I wasn't going to be able to pull through this time without some change and intervention. So... back at The Mansion I am. I am with a whole new team and working harder than I ever have with W and the Food God on my side...
Trauma work is horrifically hard, but I have finally taken the steps to be able to come foward, use my voice and break the silence about what I have gone through.
I'm mad
I'm sad
I'm lost
I'm hurt and heart broken...
But I suppose that is all part of the process and I'm just not used to it all..

I leave here on Tuesday... I don't know how ready I am to do that... But barring The Candyman (psychiatrist) being able to convince my insurance that it would be crazy-making to have me leave in like 72 hours... I'm out... I guess this is just my proclamation that I too am human and struggle. I too have things in my life that I am trying to fix.
That I am a fighter
and I'm going to win.