Saturday, March 27, 2010

Restaurant Rules

I just thought that today would be the PERFECT day to give you some insider tips.. (that is sooo sweet of me right?)...
It was while I was working the Front Desk tonight that I realized that people don't really know the rules of how to behave when going to a popular restaurant on a Saturday night.
So, I'm feeling up to sharing.
By the way, all of these have made this list because of some guest I encountered tonight who unfortunately didn't know these secrets.... Don't fall to the same tragedy.

1. As we don't EVER take reservations, don't bring 28 people for your party and then expect to sit together in the next 45 minutes. Would you be able to do that ANYWHERE???
2. When you see the little peeps in white sprinting back and forth between the building and CurbsideToGo parking spots, don't call inside the restaurant swearing because you don't have your food yet, wondering "where in the world it could possibly be." Our employees are NOT Olympic sprinters, and YOU CHOSE not to get out of your car to come inside to pick it up.
3. The Cheesecake Factory is, in fact, a restaurant... NOT a bar.. So while we highly encourage embarrassingly noisy Happy Birthday songs, we do not need 4 minutes of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow", "Hip-Hip-Hurray's" and other pub renditions sung by 20+ drunken friends. (party size is unfortunately no exaggeration)
4. Bringing 14 of your girlfriends to a bridal shower dinner is a GREAT idea. However, waiting almost 3 hours to sit down to then just order WATER... is more than a tad weird. "Dinner" did seem to be the key word... but...
Apparently you need to be adequately hydrated to open gifts... So confusing.
5. If we make accommodations for your party in order to get you seated faster (even if that means sitting in back to back booths or adding a chair at the end of a table) please bow and give endless praise to your Front Deskers. They probably just saved your hungry ass over an hour. Name-calling is slightly ungrateful.
6. Hovering over families sitting at our Bar High Tops, anxiously waiting for them to get up so you can sit next, is to be expected. Standing so close that you can basically smell the man's sweaty cologne and asking how every bite of his dessert is will probably make them eat slower... Thereby extending the time before you can sit.
7. We are the only Cheesecake in the state and one of the only restaurants that stays open late on weekends, so please don't be surprised that we still have a wait at 10:15pm. Everyone needs food. So, please put your angry eyes away, pick your jaw up off the floor, grab the pager we give you and enjoy your company in our lobby for a few minutes before the feasting begins.

Most likely there were more unfortunate offenders; but my tired little brain is having a hard time remembering the hilarity you brought to my life today.
Consider yourself saved.