Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Regular ol' Tuesdays

Today... the world seems to be rotating in the right direction.
This morning, CB and I did damage control from the horribleness that was Thursday group.
I'm no longer ready to ring her neck before storming from her office swearing and quitting.
And she has stopped calling me an Inpatient Teenager (Guess how happy that one made me?)
She did mention (with a smile), that she wished that she could shake me by the shoulders to get me to feel/trust her/and just let go...
She has coined this new medical problem, Shaken Stephanie Syndrome
Lena came back today for my first appt with her in weeks; and while we set a bunch of new goals, it actually went really well. One said goal is to write down at least one thing that is overwhelming to me that day in recovery and one success I had.
Apparently "recovery is stressful, very hard and is supposed to be overwhelming AND is also possible. Having you come in every week to tell me how well everything is going is nice and all, but it's not realistic nor helpful to you in the long run"
hmm.. never heard that one before. :)
The hope for this assignment is that I can get better at telling others when things are hard for me, instead of having people try to guess or letting my body/behaviors communicate for me.

So, here goes nothing...
Daily Overwhelmer: Having Lena back is good, but my Meal Plan goals for this week are back to being hardcore... which makes me anxious as to whether I can keep them all...
and if I can't/choose not too, I'm scared as to what consequences await me next time...
Va Va Victory: I was completely honest about all the things that I am trying to sqeak by with my Meal Plan in my sesh with Lena. I owned my retardation during her absense which lead to above hardcore goals...