Friday, September 25, 2009

...Honestly

Oh. MY. STARS!!!! longest first week back in UT ever.
The support I thought I was getting by coming here shocked me by turning me away...
The one person who PROMISED they'd always be by my side, help me, fight for and with me... sat in front of me today and broke that promise. You told me I could trust you, cry in front of you and you wouldn't leave... that you weren't my mother.... well.. you just treated me like she does... This heart stab feels the same...
Im way lost.... I thought I was doing the right thing... for the right reasons....
Im truely trying.... hard... not to give up... but honestly... Im kind of checked out...
meh...

ok.. lets try for more honesty..
I honestly expected to get quite a butt kicking when I got back here... FOR SURE...
although.... I honestly was not expecting this...
I am honestly mad, shocked, hurt, confused, lonely (and probably other things) over this whole Timmy situation...
I honestly don't think the ONE OPTION they are giving me is necessary.
or... maybe...
its that I honestly don't want to deal with the reality that I let it get here...
That without using their option, it doesn't look good...