Dear whoever stole my delta waves,
While I know that you are probably off somewhere enjoying yourself, thanks to you, I am stuck here trying to find random, mundane and increasingly useless things to do with my time awake...
Yes it is 6 in the AM and
No, I am not just getting up early...
I couldn't think of anything else, so hence the note.
Can I just say that I think that your little prank has run its course? As I watched my 40th straight awake hour pass by earlier this afternoon, I could only sit and wonder how in the world this is helpful. This is one of those landmark feats when you are a freshman in the dorms; insanely seeing how many simultaneous hours you could stay up; just so that they can brag about it for the next, like, week. Yup, freshmen are stupid (me most definitely included)... its not that cool.
Now I am quite good at "winging it" in front of the world so that they don't EVER catch on that I have some faulty internal clock that never strikes "sleep time." So on days/weeks that Im not snoozing I make sure that I am peppy, not whining about being tired and wearing plenty of concealer. I know that part of my sleep issue right now is all the stress, responsibilities and endless trivial errands that are having to be done as all 6 of us are moving into 3 new places at the same time.... This creates anxiety by excessive To-Do Lists, steering clear of emotional mothers, and lots and lots of moving/box/garbage/goodwill MESS.... (not a fan)...
Whats my point for tonight??? Im not entirely sure, only that it seems like my departure isn't coming any sooner. Everytime I feel like I have stepped closer to getting completely ready, there is a fellow moving sufferer in crisis closeby. Its constant waves of that weighty feeling that says, 'I know I am leaving, but it feels like I am never getting out of here...'
and while I can't solely blame my insomnia; all this shhtuff that we're trying to accomplish, is just rockin' me physically... and I mean hardcore..
All my lovely "symptoms" can just knock it off now (ie...compression socks never have been in style. Honestly...)
Moving also isn't an automatic cure;
but for now,
its what I'm looking foward to.
So while I'd prefer to get some z's in the next few days as the "BIG MOVE" for the parents is on Saturday, all I have to say to you is...
I will be getting those brain waves back before I pack up my new car. Vacation or not...